I am disabled, first of all. I have schizoaffective disorder, OCD, and tardive dystonia and those make it impossible to work a normal job. So I get my money "from the government" and that is great except that from this small amount, I have to pay for medical expenses (which even the copays are too much for me to handle). I used to work as a programmer—made good money at that, enough to live. But a former programmer on disability? Not so much money, not so able to live
Let's see some examples. Let's start with dentistry. My dental insurance isn't good enough to really make much of a dent in my dentistry, so for the last two years I have been paying $50 / month to my dentist to pay off fillings I had done two years ago. Now that winter saving season has begun, I will (instead of paying my dentist) be writing a note to them saying I cannot pay my bill because I am saving to pay heating bills this winter. Two years ago I saw a counselor for eight months. But it took me a year after I stopped going, to pay the entire counseling bill (in $50/month installments). Physician and psychiatry payments are the same: I pay them when I can, and delay them when I have to. But tell me this: why does a sick person, on disability, have to pay "out of pocket" for medical services? The government has determined that I'm sick enough that I can't work—doesn't that mean I need medical services no matter what? Whether I can pay for them or not? I need counseling (counseling is recommended for people with schizoaffective disorder) but I cannot afford counseling on a regular basis—so I cannot go. I have unpaid medical bills for recent cat scans—I will never be able to pay them on my disability. The hospital will eventually report those unpaid bills to the credit bureaus, and my credit score will drop
Rent, renter's insurance, dentistry, dental insurance, medical costs, medical insurance, gas, garbage, water, electricity, internet, phone, and the ever essential heating oil, take up almost all of my income. There's no way those expenses can go away. They're essential. There are assistance programs for heating oil, but we don't qualify—because we make too much money. We make just barely enough to pay for the essentials, but we're not poor enough to get assistance for heat. I lose sleep over heating oil—we have to pay for it or else we will freeze. We have been close to this in the past. Had a week last winter where we turned the heater down to 55* and the cold outside was deadly. We did that just to make it to my next check without completely running out of heating oil, when we could finally buy more
A note on our rent: we pay the average price to rent a house in this area. That seems fair. But our landlord takes that money and keeps it almost entirely to himself. There is hardly any money spent on maintenance here. A tree fell on our house last summer. There is still a branch of that tree sticking through our roof, causing water to drip into the attic. The roof is dented inward from where the tree fell. The porch is bent, making sitting on it hard. The gutter was broken, making rain water drip onto our front steps and freeze in the winter (my wife fixed this last part—thank you). We have lived here 2 1/2 years and finally got the water heater we were owed on day one (the one that came with the house was from 1980 and only kept the water hot for about 5 minutes). Before this new water heater was delivered, we washed dishes short and took short showers. Short showers for my wife, who is working, throughout three winters. That water heater cost 2% of the money we've payed our landlord. That's how much he's spent maintaining this house: 2% of what we paid him. The rest went to expensive cars and designer track suits for our (wow! you're a millionaire) landlord
I have shaved the rest of my expenses. Streaming and internet services, including those for my web site, are just over $100 / month. Eating out (which is now reduced to just getting coffee) is at $50 / month. Our dog, who we will not part with even if we become homeless, costs $50 / month and that's with zero savings in case he needs a surgery. My main luxury is $100 worth of weed per month (less than 4% of my income)—it is recommended by my psychiatrist, as a medical solution—so how much of a luxury is it, really?
I ruined my credit buying 2 cameras. The Ricoh GR IIIx and the Canon EOS R100. About $1500 altogether. I started buying them on payment plans, then about a year later couldn't make the payments (had to buy heating oil so my family didn't freeze). I'm glad I got those cameras. Ruining my credit is about the only way I could have got them
If you look at my discretionary expenses—which (sacrificing my dog) are now: weed, dog, streaming services, coffee—those are just 12% of my income. 88% of my budget cannot move. It is locked in, essential. When I worked as a programmer, more than 50% of my income was disposable. I bought books, mostly. Travel, sometimes. Sometimes I ate in restaurants. My disposable income back then was $2500 / month. My disposable income now is $321 / month—books, travel, restaurants: to get a crack at those, I would have to give up my weed, my dog, streaming services, and a stop on our way to buy groceries to buy coffee with my wife
That's just my budget. You might notice there's nothing in there for food, a car, or car insurance. I pay the rent, my wife pays for food and car. We almost always make our car payments on time. You better believe we make our insurance payments on time. We drive an hour to get to our grocery store (the closer ones have an unacceptable lack of healthy foods) and we have bought groceries on our bank accounts' overdraft multiple times. We buy exactly what is necessary to eat some healthy meals throughout the week. Sometimes we have to choose between making the car payment and buying groceries
We're not poor. We have almost everything we need. We rent a house in the country. We have a car. We (barely) go to the dentist. But there's not a lot of breathing room in our budget. And I'm not sure when I'll be able to get glasses, clothes, or a burn barrel to replace ours that finally disintegrated
I'm not asking for your money. I know I make more money than some of you
I'm telling you this because I know your budget is hurting, too
And I want to commiserate